You Can Have it All: Intimate Relationships

This was written for you in a pure stream of consciousness, during a time of inner struggle - ego mind racing fast, and inner self feeling muddy and hard to find. I meditated and this came out, and I hope that some part of it speaks to you. Wherever you are in your relationship, whether it be 1 month in, 1 year in, or 1 decade in, you can create what you want. You can make changes, and you can overcome. Namaste <3

Things don’t go your way, or as expected. Panic ensues. Historically, your dating life was this way, and now, with new person, it’s this. Your triggers pop up, thoughts you never thought you would have…or could have, enter your mind. Doubt. Fears. Worry. Repeat. And then the wave settles, and the love comes back, because of how lovely the other person makes you feel. But what happened when the other person wasn’t doing exactly what you want and you felt like your world was falling apart? What does that mean?

It means, not all your shit has been released. It means that your past experiences are still haunting you a bit, daunting for you, reminding you of feelings you wish you never had and abandonment you wish you never felt. Patterns. Defaults. Your default pattern shows up just as the doubt and insecurities leap in. Trigger, default, repeat. Actions speak louder than words – if actions speak louder than words than why are your actions not aligned with your heart? When your heart should be the loudest. Speaking the strongest, with the most power. But, the heart feels weak when there is past pain locked in it. Impressions of the past stored within the mind, causing reaction in the heart and vice versa.

This looks familiar. Recognize the patterns. Use your tools. Trust. Repeat. Go within. What helps distract from the thoughts that are no longer serving you? Go do those things. Spend time at the gym, or with friends, or with your books and journals. Go do something that makes you smile instead of waiting on someone to do it for you. Putting the responsibility of your happiness in someone else’s hands – is that unfair or selfish? Or is that being open enough to depend on someone?  

Dependability is important. It’s the proof that your partner is your friend, your love, your safety net. AND independence is important. It’s the proof that you can survive without. You can survive within, as you know you are never really alone, and also honor your partner and your time together.

I want this. Ego. Pride. Power struggles. Winning. Who is getting what. Who is being more romantic, and when and why and I don’t like it this way, I like it that way. Ego driven mindsets are painful. They cause stress and narratives and doubt. Looking to society and the outside and the past to dictate how is this relationship going? What do you measure it against? Comparison – pictures of other couples and how they SHOULD be. The past – what felt really good and what felt ugly and what turned ugly once will turn ugly again. Right? Wrong. What other people tell you – love should look like this, this is what it feels like, this is how you should act, follow this, don’t do this, do that instead, yes, no, yes, no. In my experience… 

There is no other experience but your own. What YOU want to create and build and experience. You want a loving, passionate, lasting true love? Build it. Create it. Wait past the growing pains. Be patient with your love. Follow the moon, take it in strides and baby steps. Love yourself in the process. Love yourself through your mistakes – there are no mistakes – only lessons. Each one leads you to something else new and exciting and beautiful. However long that journey, however many misguided trails and “wrong turns”.

Your life will be as beautiful as you allow. Your love will be as beautiful as you allow. You have painted the picture – you have seen the future. You know what is possible for you. You know that you can have it all – without a doubt. 100%, every single bit of it. You are a shining star, one that burns bright and with a fire that is stronger than the sun, ready to explode. Ready to multiply and shine and burst. This life will be the most magical you’ve ever had. This life will be the most magical that you’ve ever had. You can create absolutely anything you have ever wanted to create in this life. Believe it. Conceive it. Achieve it.  

The love that you have for yourself and others is real. It is not a façade. It comes from God/Source/The Universe, not from you. You is the ego. You do not remember what true love is yet. But you will again, this experience will do that for you. Be patient. Act with love first. Go through these life lessons that are extremely important for you to experience, With your relationships, your family, your friends, your love, and your environments. Your body is telling you everything, trust it. I love you.

 

Antoinette Beauchamp